As in, the candy bar.
My dad gave it to me earlier and I forgot I put it in there. So I opened the drawer up and just found candy and it’s like a pleasant surprise, haha.
That drawer is practically magical because I always discover forgotten stuff in there. Example, the other week I found twenty bucks from who knows how long ago, haha.
i will always read your tags
always
Mum came home earlier and she was already on the phone with Baba (my grandma) so I got to say Happy Birthday. And the first thing she said to me, after saying thank you, was “You forgot didn’t you?”
TO WHICH I COMPLETELY DENIED IT. To the best of my abilities anyway. And we talked for a little bit- about school and how it was surprising, to her, that I only had class on Tuesday/Thursday in contrast to Japan. (Something about having classes every day but I’m not sure if that’s like a full schedule or a couple classes or what.)
And then, oh god here it comes. She put Jiji (grandpa) on the phone and I’m just like… FUCK ABORT, ABORT, the waterworks are a’comin’! We.. didn’t really say much. Just hey, how are you, miss you (Oh god I’m tearing up as I’m typing this. Aya you emotional piece of shit) and he told me to study hard so that I can go visit them as soon as I can. (I’m gonna take ALL THE JAPANESE CLASSES.)
and now I’m sitting here like gosh I miss them. All the feels.
Gonna distract myself nowwwww-
I am the worst grand-daughter, its me.
MY GRANDMA JUST CALLED A FEW MINUTES AGO
okay?
The one in Japan. She called me and she asked “do you know what day it is??” all happy-like and I’m over here sitting like, “Oh fuck oh shit oh fuck” trying to figure it out. I was about to say “happy anniversary?” like a fucking doofus, but I didn’t because she kept asking if I remembered and that she was going to go call my mum. And then she hung up.
And I’m like “…. OH FUCK MUM’S NOT HOME” within the second of silence that followed. And I got up and I’m like “Ohhhh god oh no oh god oh no” so I was freaking out in the hallway with complete and utter guilt trying to figure out what today was.
AND MY BROTHER OF ALL PEOPLE goes, “Brah, try remember what’s in FEBRUARY.” and I’m like “It’s not february it’s janua- OH MY GOD IT’S HER BIRTHDAY IN JAPAN ALREADY OH GOD AND LJSDOFIJSKDFS”
and I tried to call her back but I got directed to some Version bot and just-
I think I’m going to just.. turn in the second-person one.
But I’ll be fully aware of the possibility that I MAY get points deducted for writing in that perspective. And I will not be disappointed. Because let’s face it, that graduation statistic thing really slapped my self esteem, so getting a MEH grade on this essay won’t even faze me, haha.
And I must pause from roleplaying and procrastinating on my essay to say that I got my FAFSA thing officially turned in… And right after, I was told I have a graduation rate of 25% as well as a transfer rate of 22%
SO. ENCOURAGING.
THAT DOES WONDERS TO MY SELF ESTEEM I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO HOLD ALL THIS ENCOURAGEMENT.
I’m just
going to uh
take a quick break
from writing out the first-person one.
Because um. My roleplaying partner finally replied after like half a week break and I-
I-
I kinda need this.
My OC babies
they call for me.
I swear I’ll just take like an hour and a half and then I’ll get right back on track. I mean like some scientists or something say that you’re like more creative during the night, so I’m just waiting around for that hahahhahahahahaahaahhh
; o ;!!!!
JEENA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I CAN’T EVEN
THE GIFS IN MY DRAFTS CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW MUCH KJSDOFIJSDF
I DONT HAVE ANY SORT OF HUGGING GIF I NEED TO FIX THAT.
WHY AM I STILL IN CAPS
rollingkira replied to your post: This is- this is absolutely ridiculous. THIS…
You can do it Aya
Maybe I’ll just bullshit it. Like just completely bullshit it, no stopping to think. Because that apparently worked pretty fan-fucking-tastic with the second-person one. At one in the morning, no less.
This is-
this
is
absolutely
ridiculous.
THIS IS STUPID—
I can’t do it. For some unknown reason, I can’t write this thing out in first-person. Maybe it was because I actually LIKED the one I did in second-person, and some deep, inner, subconscious part of me doesn’t want me to make the work put into that one in vain.
I am a failure of a writer. Its me.
It should not be this difficult to write about my six-year-old self being bullied in first-person.
